How to Talk About Politics and Religion
How we do the impossible
Conventional wisdom forbids discussing politics or religion with those we love, to avoid causing division. But politics and religion divide because they matter.
We should be able to discuss the things of greatest importance with those we care about most.
The Scriptures show us how.
Tip 1: To change someone’s mind, start by listening.
To listen well, listen to them as you’d want them to listen to you: be attentive, ask open-ended questions, and don’t interrupt. Let them talk until they’re done talking. This is loving them as you’d want to be loved (Mark 12:31).
Most of us yearn for good listeners. We all want to be heard. If you listen well, they’ll be happy when you come over for dinner.
You might object, thinking, “But they’re wrong! I have to correct it!”
They might indeed be wrong. But if you tell them they’re wrong, they’ll either push back or stop talking — fight or flight. No one likes being told they’re wrong, especially when they really are.
The more you think they’re wrong, the tighter you must close your mouth. Listen to them. Ask questions to find out what they think even further. Let them talk.
If you feel you must respond, keep a mental note of everything you want to say. Later that night, say it at home, where no one can hear.
Tip 2: Clearly articulate your opinion — but not until you’re asked.
If you want to say something, wait until asked. When they open the doors by asking, they’ll be far more inclined to listen to what you say.
If they never ask for your opinion, don’t offer it. Instead, leave the gathering with them regarding you as an excellent listener. Their estimation of you will rise.
Consider: Who do we let speak into our lives? People we trust. People who listen to us. People who take the time to understand us.
If you want to gain the ability to speak into someone’s life (and perhaps to change their mind), become someone who listens. It will build trust. People will want to discuss difficult topics with you. We are all desperate for someone to listen.
When you share your ideas, ask for their opinion. Say something like, “I heard this on the news today. What do you think of it?” Then let them talk. Listen.
Once they’re done talking, if they ask you to share your opinion on it, you’ll do so as someone they are growing to trust. Trust opens ears. They’ll be ready to listen to you — and actually hear what you’re saying.
Persuading someone to change their mind is not about facts. It’s about emotion — particularly, love.
Barraging people with endless facts rarely works.
But if you love a person by listening and patiently waiting, they will be far more likely to listen to you.
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